And no matter if the wounds have healed or not, if you fall know that you will be caught, and I will lift your chin to see, that sometimes looking for you, you should be looking at me.
I’ve selected the highest boulder to watch you pick your way up the steep side of feeling. My heart wincing every time you stumble, I struggle to keep reminding myself, ‘ just stay put.. he’ll find you. Stay where he can see you.’ The instinct to run to you is tearing at my emotions, I want to leap back over the obstacles I had conquered before you had even thought to make your way to me. I ache to take your hand, lace your fingers with my own and show you the way to the top….but, still…I wait.
I need to know if I am worth it to you.
I will be perched on this boulder waiting, ready to help you heal, ready to see you, eye to eye.
Waiting to greet you, with my lips pressed to yours.
Emails. January 2012.
I was such a stubborn asshole.
I let him die on the mountain.